I am a highly tempermental and passionate person. That is a nice way of saying that I have an explosive temper. I get ticked off when people do or say stupid things. I get visibly upset at times when things don't seem to be going the way it is. and knowing my very volatile way of expressing my dissapointment I usually just shut-up, remove myself from the scene and perhaps come back to it after a few minutes when I am a little more calm and whn I have kicked myself for getting upset with such a stupid thing. But then there is a small hitch in the goings here. I live with a person who belives in dealing with things immediately, in talking out things and diffusing the situation asap. So when the talking is going on, I am in no mood to listen, and when I am in the frameset to talk the talker has already moved on. So how do you resolve conflicts in a place like this? How do you generally solve arguments and sort out fights. I like having my voice heard and making my stands, but what is that leads to never ending rounds of arguments. Is it okay to change yourself when you realise something that you do or say irrtates your partner to no extent. Compromise is a key word in marriage, but what to do when you are not able to compromise on something. What do you do when you an argument flares up or when that shirt on the bathroom floor has got to your nerves? I just make resolutions to take one day at a time and take each situation as a new one. It works so far, but someday I will have to make new ones..
All said and done I do have to confess that I absolutely love making up after a fight......
10.09.2006
Conflict resolutions...
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5 Borrowed my shoes:
Yup making up is the best part, but that can be ard too at times.
Yup you bring up a real conundrum. the part that I may not get is how does the other person move on? I hae a tendency to do the same and *A* may not move on so easily. The soultion that I cam up (if one can call it that) is to avoid getting in to situations where there is a conflict.
That means I have to sort of rein in my sometimes off the cuff remarks and just take a cpl of secs at times to reply. Thats how it works for me. That being said *A* is usually pretty cool to deal with and i am the one who has to watch myself.
I think compromise works as long as you don't give up something that you stand for and neither does the other person. Makes sense?
BTW thanks for gettign back at JD at my blog. He is a true believer.
@Sanjay: Makes sense? well it kinda does.. take a deep breath before snapping back always helps I guess. Marriage or any relationship for that matter is a learning process. I am just glad that I have someone who is accepting enough to allow me to make mistakes and humble enough to accept his own.
Abt JD, I don't have a problem wih true belivers, but I do have a problem with blind believers. Beliving in something because they stand for your principles is fine by me..but remaking your principles to suit your beliefs is stupidity and by the looks of it there seems o be wuite a few headless horsemen around.
Making up after a fight....makes fighting almost worth all the trouble :)I live with someone who has an impulsive and explosive temper. We learn to deal with it. And like you say it is a learning process and we cope better everyday.
Making up after a fight is the best part, really!! I really don't mind the fights, cos well.. they are just a part of every relationship.
What i do mind is, that sometimes i feel that we (women) are always the one compromising! Why is that so? Is that cos' its expected of us? If yes, then why??? Or is it because we compromise better than the men, so we MUST do so!
@m: Explosive tempers can be a little tricky to deal with and I sometimes truly do pity the man who has to deal with mine...But I do make up for it later ;-)
@medha: People no longer expect the women to do the compromising and i can vouch for the fact that I am not the only one doing all the giving up. I am a tad bit selfish and self absorbed to give away all my dreams and pleasures and I am happy that I have found a man who is willing to put up with all that and give me my space. Men more htan women realise the importance of compromising and space. marriage is no longer a one man/woman's work...Real glad you stopped by. Hope to see you around.
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