The thing that I miss about school/college is having secret crushes. Sounds silly, but the thrill of having this deep dark secret, the thrill that no one knows about it except you and in the comforts of your mind there are a million thoughts swirling around that no one has the slightest clue about is amazingly good. Suddenly you have a reason to go to study and focus sincerely in class, so you can prove that you are intelligent, tell wicked jokes to make sure you are noticed as funny and help your friend solve that pesky sum and show how compassionate you are. Notice how I didn't mention pretty, because in that cocoon there is no one prettier than you and no person more handsome than your secret crush. It feels good to have a sly smile on your face while talking to that person who has no clue. It sends shivers up your spine when that person laughs at your jokes and it is absolute heaven to know things about them that no one else knows about.
It does eat you up though. There is this irrepressible feeling to spill the beans, unimaginably painful feeling of seeing him drool at other girls. You feel like slapping him silly. There is the nervousness of maintaining your calm lest anyone finds out. Every moment you feel like standing on your tippy toes and yell out to the world, you have to step harder on your heel and walk away. In the comforts of the cocoon where your thoughts are buried, where they gain the courage to become a butterfly and go out of control. Till then you know you have the thoughts only to yourself and take comfort in holding it as long as possible. Till the butterfly comes out, you have an unbelievable silly smile pasted on your face, because your mind realized and processed a signal your heart had sent weeks earlier about the first instant you met him. you close your eyes and you know the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he smiles, the way he swears, the way he clenches his fist and shakes his head and the way his eyes glaze over when he talks about his dream girl. Secret crushes makes you realize at some point later in life that....
12.05.2006
Comforts of the cocoon!!
'Tis better to have loved and to have lost,
Than not to have loved at all..
Tennyson.
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6 Borrowed my shoes:
oh beautiful! Just loved the way you ended this one :) Indeed.
Love IS the key! in everything!
k, email me with what you need for your blog design!!! click on GRAFXGURL at the end of my post.
Lovely post. I miss this part about univ too. And I have had my share of crushes, lots of them too. :-)
oh caco...this is freaky! I was discussing the exact same things to a friend.... I told him that it gives me gr8 joy to have these crushes....stand back and watch that person... I dont want to build any ties with that person....Had a couple of incurable crushes in SL on two totally droolworthy individuals... LOve it!
@m: Came from one of my favouite poets. Great to see you back.
@Grafx: Yup love is the key. But with crushes you can have many keys...hehe
@Jay: God knows I miss school. I am in the one person club called "crushology". Takes time to list crushes and laugh about them. Jump in...
@Akila: God that is freaky. You know what is freakier. The post you wrote about the lighthouse. I was thinking that day about how much I missed my place. a gorgeous place with the view of the mountains. I had those exact sam felings there and I even have a poetry to remember it. Who wants ties. We have enough ties to make us crazy. We need tie-less rltnshps, freedom to fall, get up dust and keep walking....
oooh you have a new template and from the comments looks like grafx had something to do with it. Love the new look.
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