Huh!! where am I

WoooooooooHooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! I am an aunt. Yey!!! My sister in law just had a baby boy. Nine months and so many lives are going to be changed so dramatically. This is awesome. I am determined to be the best darn aunt that boy is ever going to have, which brings me to the question...What are aunts supposed to do? I am also sitting thousands of miles across the pretty world.

Psalm of Life!!

One thing that gives me immense pride about myself is my ability to appreciate poetry and even scribble a few. I have seen people who struggle real hard and often have a distaste for poetry, verse and such. It is not their fault. The art of appreciating a poetry can only be taught by a really good teacher. I was blessed in that way to have my father as my teacher. One of the first poems that he taught me was called "Psalm of Life" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I didn't truly understand what it meant till I was in High school. It was a long way from the pig tailed fifth standard kid who gaped at her father reciting the poem by heart. It was a heavy journey too and this poem at that point in high school revved me up. It has been kind of like a mantra ever since. I am not interpreting the poem here. It would impose my version of it on you. Feel free to look at it as you want. it may appeal to you, it may not. But every time I feel blue, this reminds me of home, my father's warm hug and the life he helps me live.

Tell me not in mournful numbers,

"Life is but an empty dream!"

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

"Dust thou art, to dust returnest,"

Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each to-morrow

Find us further than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle!

Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act -- act in the living Present!

Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o'er life's solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labour and to wait

Identity Crisis!!

She walked in tools in hand, Sparkle in eye,
She walked in song on lips and head held high
She stopped for a moment beside me

It was a wonder that she spotted me
I thought no one could see me
Blending, as I was with the rest of the world

I had walked a few miles on the road.
The journey was long and I bored,
I wanted a wash, a change and a new wardrobe

I was lost in the world of zero's and one's
Life bore little meaning and no fun
I wanted a prayer, a little hope and something more

In she came, with her tools, sparkle and all
She sang a sweet little song and I gave her an order tall
She blew the smoke of her tool and set to work.

She shaped, coloured, cut, stuck and wove
The colours in my life and the big shoes that I wore
She made them blue, she gave me some sand, and a wave

I can feel my flat feet in the sand sink
I can see waves of thought every time I blink
I have happy blue shoes to walk and to lend

Can you see me smile mile wide
Can you see the wave that I ride
Can you see the sparkle in my word

The nerd did it all, with a smile, a sparkle
a song. I tell you she's a marvel
All bow to the Grafx gurl who made my toes curl

Comforts of the cocoon!!

The thing that I miss about school/college is having secret crushes. Sounds silly, but the thrill of having this deep dark secret, the thrill that no one knows about it except you and in the comforts of your mind there are a million thoughts swirling around that no one has the slightest clue about is amazingly good. Suddenly you have a reason to go to study and focus sincerely in class, so you can prove that you are intelligent, tell wicked jokes to make sure you are noticed as funny and help your friend solve that pesky sum and show how compassionate you are. Notice how I didn't mention pretty, because in that cocoon there is no one prettier than you and no person more handsome than your secret crush. It feels good to have a sly smile on your face while talking to that person who has no clue. It sends shivers up your spine when that person laughs at your jokes and it is absolute heaven to know things about them that no one else knows about.

It does eat you up though. There is this irrepressible feeling to spill the beans, unimaginably painful feeling of seeing him drool at other girls. You feel like slapping him silly. There is the nervousness of maintaining your calm lest anyone finds out. Every moment you feel like standing on your tippy toes and yell out to the world, you have to step harder on your heel and walk away. In the comforts of the cocoon where your thoughts are buried, where they gain the courage to become a butterfly and go out of control. Till then you know you have the thoughts only to yourself and take comfort in holding it as long as possible. Till the butterfly comes out, you have an unbelievable silly smile pasted on your face, because your mind realized and processed a signal your heart had sent weeks earlier about the first instant you met him. you close your eyes and you know the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he smiles, the way he swears, the way he clenches his fist and shakes his head and the way his eyes glaze over when he talks about his dream girl. Secret crushes makes you realize at some point later in life that....

'Tis better to have loved and to have lost,

Than not to have loved at all..

Tennyson.